


spaces between us

by luhx



Category: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
Genre: Dan Humphrey is Not Gossip Girl, F/M, I couldve made it worse but I didnt bc im NICE, MINOR angst really its all just funsies, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, bc I said so, bc that was the stupidest twist ive ever witnessed adn I watched pretty little liars so, dan is bisexual, slightly anti chuck, this is a FIX IT, very chill and soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:22:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29494272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luhx/pseuds/luhx
Summary: Dan and Serena's marriage lasts for a year until they both realise that their relationship was supposed to end after high school. Dan comes back to New York and hides in his apartment. He starts writing a book that makes him realize things. And then he meets Blair Waldorf again and has to deal with hidden feelings that come back in full force (it's all very uncomfortable. He'd rather run away.)
Relationships: Dan Humphrey & Georgina Sparks, Dan Humphrey/Blair Waldorf, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Nate Archibald/Serena van der Woodsen, Rufus Humphrey/Lily van der Woodsen
Comments: 56
Kudos: 49





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> i watched gossip girl last year and the ending/whole of season 6 made me FURIOUS. i started writing this fix it (first as a joke for me to feel better. then I read a thread on how fanfiction is the worst thing and it made me angry.) I made my friend beta-read this and am now posting it out of PURE SPITE. characters may be a bit ooc but it is what it is and i tried my best.  
> Georgina is a bigger part of this story than I thought she would be but i love her and Dan's relationship so if you don't like her maybe don't read it. 
> 
> ps: if youre a huge chuck bass fan and/or get offended if hes trashtalked (not a lot and also it could be much worse ngl) then don't read this lol.

_Prologue ___

__

__Their marriage doesn't even last a year._ _

__On his train back to New York, Dan thinks it is fitting for his writer image, that he doesn't have any luck in his relationships.  
He also decides that he is allowed to feel sorry for himself._ _

__When he gets to his apartment in Brooklyn - which is empty again because his father and Lily have finally decided to get their shit together and he moved back with her - he closes the door and finally allows himself to feel actual sadness._ _

__Serena and he tried.  
They really did.  
But some relationships aren't supposed to be forever and theirs ended when they graduated high school. They know that now._ _

__He doesn't call Nate. He doesn't call his father. Or his sister. He considers calling Eric but decides against it. He absolutely does not call Chuck and forces himself to not even think about calling Blair._ _

__He holes himself up in his apartment and writes.  
Drinks a lot of coffee. Smokes too many cigarettes. Drinks too much alcohol.  
Pain always helped him to be creative._ _

__So he writes and deletes and writes again.  
After a few days he finds his flow._ _

__He tries to keep a low profile and only steps outside to shop groceries. Nobody needs to know he is here. He doesn't want anyone to know that he is here. He doesn't read any news in case any of the people he knows are in it. He does not need to know about the perfect couple that are Chuck and Blair, about Serena finding a new love after her failed marriage to 'lonely boy' and to be honest Dan just wants to live in his own bubble right now._ _

__After a five weeks of sleepless nights and too much coffee he stares at his finished product. Dan is not sure that it is any good actually. He has not been reading it, just typing in a feverish haste.  
He calls Georgina. She picks up immediately._ _

__"Dan Humphrey. To what do I owe the pleasure? Has Serena become too boring for you, so you have decided to call me now?"  
Dan ignores her snarky remark.  
"I wrote a book. Will you take a look at it?", his voice is rough. That probably happens, when you only talk to the cashier at the supermarket once a week.  
"Send it over.", she answers and hangs up._ _

__She calls him back a day later, while he's nursing a hangover and watching TV.  
"Get ready for some meetings. I've send the manuscript to some publishers and they loved it! Any chance the story is inspired by real time events?"  
Dan sighs._ _

__"Georgina."  
"If we publish it with people knowing it’s about your marriage and your feelings for B-"  
"Stop.", he sits upright and winces. Too much whiskey last night. "We will do no such thing. I just needed to get it out and now it is out and there is nothing more I will say about it."_ _

__She says nothing._ _

__"Georgina."  
"Meet me in two hours. I'll send you the address . And if you stink of alcohol I'll send you to the Ostroff Center, got it?", she hangs up, before he can answer._ _

__Dan wonders if he should have simply kept the manuscript to himself._ _

__*_ _

__"You look terrible.", Georgina says, as he slides into her booth at a coffee shop in Brooklyn.  
"I'm going through a break-up and expecting divorce papers in a few weeks. How am I supposed to look?"  
She just looks at him. "Self-pity used to look better on you."_ _

__Dan simply rolls his eyes and leaves it at that.  
Georgina opens her laptop and begins talking about publishing houses, contracts and money. Dan just waits for his coffee to arrive._ _

__"So?", she looks at him with raised eyebrows.  
"So what?", he takes a sip of his coffee._ _

__"Which deal do you want?"  
"Whatever deal you seem fitting.", he murmurs and leans back on his chair. It squeaks.  
"Fine.", Georgina purses his lips. "Be like that. Let’s move on to another story. You've surely heard about Serena and-"  
Dan holds up a hand.  
"I don't wanna know. She can do what she wants."_ _

__"Are you sure you don't want to know?"  
Dan scoffs.  
"I don't want to know and I don't need to know. Serena and I split, it is her life and she can do as she pleases."  
Georgina shrugs. "Alright. What about the new Chuck and Blair rumour that has been going around?"  
Dan forces the spike of interest down.  
"No. Stop it Georgina. I don't need to know any of that."  
"Aren't you all 'friends'? Shouldn't you want to know what is going on?"_ _

__Dan clicks his tongue.  
"If they want me to know , they can call me. If that is all, I want to get back home." Before someone sees me , he thinks. He does not need his dad calling or Lily knocking on his door or Serena texting him or Blair -  
He doesn't need any of that._ _

__"I'll send you the details of your new contract. After that we'll probably have a meeting and a dinner with the publishers. You will come, you will be nice and you will socialise. I've got a reputation to lose now and you will not mess it up for me."  
Dan nods.  
"Okay.", he stands up and puts on his coat. Then he looks back at Georgina typing something on her Laptop.  
"Thank you."  
She looks up and nods.  
"You're welcome , Humphrey."_ _


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> georgina spills the tea, dan is being petty (it's what he does best) and some things get cleared up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 1 here we gooo  
> I hope you enjoy it :))

_Chapter 1 ___

__

__Dan gets through the dinners and meetings and one month later the deal is sealed._ _

__His book is scheduled to be released in half a year and they tried get him to confirm it was about his real life._ _

__"It will sell the book.", they said. "People are going to be way more interested."_ _

__Dan refused. He is not stupid._ _

__And after what happened the last time, he has chosen to be more careful._ _

__People will whisper, there will be rumours but Dan won't give them anything._ _

__He did talk to his dad one week after he met with Georgina. He had dinner with Lily and him and thankfully they did not mention Serena or their failed marriage or what Serena is doing right now. Jenny called, after his dad sent her some ‘alarmed’ messages._ _

__Whatever that entails._ _

__Dan tells her to calm down and that she doesn't need to come help him get his life together._ _

__Because he's got his life together. And Jenny has a fashion show coming up and does not need to worry about her older brother. She is in Paris now, living her best life. And Dan is happy for her. She deserves every ounce of luck and success she has now and he doesn't want to pull her away from that. Because he is fine._ _

__He drinks a smoothie every morning, goes on a run every evening and he even started smiling at people again._ _

__Georgina forces him to meet her every week for coffee and it helps him to get out of the apartment._ _

__He is biting into his croissant, while watching Georgina yell at someone on her phone and just started to relax, when she hangs up and suddenly looks at him._ _

__"I've got to tell you.", she says._ _

__"Tell me waf'", his mouth is full of croissant._ _

__"I feel terrible keeping you in the dark about and even if you don't wanna know I feel like you should. And that nobody told you before is honestly the worst.", Georgina almost seems sincere. Weird._ _

__Dan sips on his coffee._ _

__"Nobody tells me anything because they respect my wishes.", he answers her._ _

__"I respect your wishes most of the time but I'm also your agent and only friend."_ _

__Dan opens his mouth to protest but -_ _

__"Your dad and sister don't count, Humphrey!"_ _

__He shoves the rest of the croissant in his mouth and looks at her with raised eyebrows._ _

__Georgina purses her lips._ _

__"I'll tell you now because I'm sick of tiptoeing around it and honestly you don't seem to consume any news or magazines which is a terrible thing in itself!"_ _

__"Gossip magazines and news are not something I need to consume.”_ _

__There are some croissant crumbs stuck between his teeth._ _

__"The love life of a New York Mayor candidate is not something that is only written about in trash gossip magazines."_ _

__"What does the love life of a New York Mayor candidate got to do with me?", asks Dan and then something clicks._ _

__"Nate?"_ _

__Georgina nods._ _

__"Nate and who?", Dan fights the urge to pick up his phone and google Nate’s name._ _

__"Take a wild guess.", chirps Georgina._ _

__Serena. And Nate. Nate. and Serena._ _

__NATE AND SERENA?!_ _

__Georgina looks at him with raised eyebrows when he doesn’t respond for a minute._ _

__"Serena and Nate have already been spotted several times holding hands, getting coffee and talking walks. I'm sick and tired of them not telling you when they should have told you before anything happened. It is not right."_ _

__Dan snorts._ _

__"And you care about my feelings?"_ _

__"Dan.", Georgina leans forward and looks him in the eye. "I haven’t been inviting you for coffee every week because I hate you or something. It is hard to admit but you are a friend."_ _

__Dan looks at her._ _

__"And you are also one of my best clients. I can't have you spiralling again.", she adds hastily because Georgina Sparks does not show serious feelings ever._ _

__"Serena can do what she wants. We've split and we're getting divorced.", he knows how monotone his voice sounds and he knows that it is the right thing to say but a mean little voice in his head starts screaming about betrayal and cheating and he may also be a little embarrassed._ _

__"Nate texted me a few days ago and didn’t tell me.", he adds and that’s when he starts laughing._ _

__He is laughing so hard, there are tears coming to his eyes. He doesn't know if it’s because of the laughter or because of something else._ _

__"How ridiculous am I?"_ _

__*_ _

__Dan likes to think of himself as having grown out of his petty teenage/young-adult years. But his urge to be petty and passive aggressive is bigger than it has ever been before._ _

__His fingers hover over his phone as he types and retypes and types..._ _

__He shouldn't? Should he? He puts his phone down before he sends something._ _

__Then he takes back his phone and opens his messages._ _

__**> >were you gonna tell me about serena or was I supposed to find out from some trash gossip-magazine?<<** _ _

__Before he can think any longer about this he sends it and after two seconds of thinking he also sends the screenshot of one article about Nate and Serena that he found. Then he turns his phone off._ _

__The thing is, Dan is not even really upset about Nate and Serena. The only thing that truly bugs him is that they didn't tell him. He feels stupid and Dan hates nothing more than feeling stupid. (Even though he feels stupid very often.)_ _

__He knows he should be upset. They are all in the same "friend" circle. Not that they are really close friends anymore but Dan knows that technically he could call Nate if he ever needed anything and Nate would help him blindly, no questions asked._ _

__So why did Nate not tell him that he is dating his soon-to-be ex-wife? Also why didn't Serena tell him? They are still married and it’s not like they separated because of a big fight._ _

__Dan feels fidgety so he decides to go on a run._ _

__It's healthier than smoking 12 cigarettes or drinking too much whiskey._ _

__*_ _

__Weirdly the run didn't help take his thoughts of f the whole thing (if it even is a thing, Nate could have just blocked him and that would be it.)_ _

__Dan is making himself coffee, when someone knocks on the door. He takes his cup of coffee and opens - with an eye-roll - the door._ _

__"Georgina no you cannot move in, I don't - "_ _

__He stops short, when he sees who actually knocked on his door._ _

__(Spoiler: there are two people. Their names start with a N and a S)_ _

__*_ _

__"So...", Dan should've gone for the alcohol. Not the run. Nate and Serena sit on his couch in his loft, holding hands (he should be more upset, right? He should be.)_ _

__"So…", murmurs Serena and shoots him a nervous smile._ _

__"What are you doing here?", Dan leans back and tries to relax. He is the one that has more leverage, he reminds himself. They are the ones that came to him._ _

__Maybe they do feel bad. Or they just wanna save their faces, Dan doesn't know._ _

__He hopes it's the first option._ _

__"We're sorry.", says Nate. His voice is rough._ _

__"We should've talked to you before stepping out in public, but - ", he cuts himself off and looks at Serena who jumps in._ _

__"Dan, we thought you were still in the Hamptons.", she quietly finishes the sentence._ _

__"We didn't think you would see the articles and we wanted to drive down in the next weeks to tell you. Privately."_ _

__Dan blinks. **Bullshit** the voice in his head screams._ _

__"Serena, I left our house in the Hamptons when we decided to break up? Where did you think I would've gone?", he sounds more aggressive than he intends to._ _

__She shrugs._ _

__“I thought you went to my mother’s house. I thought you would’ve told us that you are back in New York or at least told someone else. It’s not like we knew you were back. And you made it quite clear that you didn’t intend to go back to New York anytime soon.”_ _

__Well, Dan can’t say anything against that. He told Serena that he needed space and he knew she would go back to New York, so he would go somewhere else._ _

__“Still.”, he says. “I thought you guys would at least me tell me before you tell the paparazzi.”_ _

__He holds up his hand, when Serena tries to answer. “I’m not mad that you are together.”_ _

__“You’re not?”, Nate looks at him weirdly._ _

__“No.”, Dan answers truthfully. “I am mad that you guys didn’t tell me after it happened. That I had to find out from Georgina who found out from fucking gossip magazines and whatnot.”_ _

__“You met up with Georgina?”, Serena looks at him with her eyebrows raised._ _

__“Stop changing the topic.”, Dan answers because he really doesn’t want to tell them about his book, about what he has written about, really anything._ _

__And also because he wants an apology. He deserves that._ _

__And if he gets that they can go get drunk for all he cares._ _

__Serena looks at Nate._ _

__“Okay, man. We wanted to tell you, we did but Lily and Rufus told us we should do it in person. And so we cleared our schedules for a weekend and wanted to drive down to the Hamptons where we thought you would be. We should have called you and told you earlier, I realise that.”, he looks at Serena and smiles._ _

__“We realise that. So for what it’s worth.”, and then he uses his earnest-puppy-eyes._ _

__“We are really sorry. And hopefully we’ll be able to laugh about it soon.”, Serena nods hastily._ _

__“We were also a bit afraid.”, she adds quietly._ _

__Dan snorts._ _

__“Afraid of what?”_ _

__“Your reaction? Dan I knew we split up on better terms than most couples but – Serena’s voice wavers – we were married. When we got married I thought ‘This is it. This is the person I will spend my life with’ and you probably thought something similar. And then we broke up a year later and it hurt really badly. And I know it hurt you too. Our feelings towards each other changed but that doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt to give up on our dream of becoming a family. And I just didn’t want to hurt you more or get hurt if you would’ve reacted harshly. It was selfish but I just wanted to live in my own bubble and not think about you or imagine telling you about Nate and me.”_ _

__Serena tries to smile but her eyes get a bit watery. Nate reaches over and grabs her hand._ _

__“Serena.”, Dan leans forward. “I get it. And maybe I shouldn’t have been so passive aggressive about this but I don’t know. I guess I felt left out.”_ _

__She nods._ _

__“Good. Now that that’s done, should we go get drunk?”_ _

__Nate snorts._ _

__“What? It’s Saturday. We can go out and get drinks.”_ _

__“Yeah.”, Serena says and laughs. “Yeah, let’s do it. A fresh start.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still no blair... she'll show up at some point dont worry lol  
> i wanted to get the whole nate and serena thing out of the way as soon as possible (in the beginning I wanted dan to be a bit more aggressive but then I decided it was unneccessarily dramatic and would've prolonged the conflict in a way I didn't want so they fixed it in half a chapter don't come for me pls)
> 
> btw I've already written it all, just need to edit it and get it out! So I will probably update twice a week :)


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dan, serena and nate go and get drunk in a bar (thats basically it)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, here is chapter two I hope you enjoy it :)))

_Chapter 2_

They’re in some fancy bar on the Upper East Side (It wasn’t Dan’s idea but Nate and Serena dragged him there with the promise of free alcohol and who is he to disobey that.)

“These glasses are worth more than what some people earn in one week.”, he mumbles and holds his glass up high. It is some cocktail that Serena forced on him.

It is very sweet.

Dangerously sweet.

Serena snorts.

“Since we are now seated and have our drinks, it is time that you tell us what you were doing with Georgina.”

“Oh! Yeah, I forgot about that!” 

They both stare at him, grinning. The alcohol already made their cheeks flushed red, so maybe Dan could get away with a lie.

Then again, they would find out in a few months anyway and he would have to endure that argument then and Dan doesn’t want to do that, so it’s better to just spill it out.

“I wrote a book.”, he announces and downs his drink afterwards.

“What? What kind of book? And when?”

“I wrote it when I came back to New York.”, Dan shrugs. And ignores Serenas question about the content entirely.

“And you met with Georgina because –?”

“Because she was my agent.”, Dan frowns. “Well, I suppose she is my agent again. She got me the book deal and she forced me to go outside once a week to ‘stop me from hibernating’.”, he looks around for the cute waiter to order another one of Serena’s cocktails.

“Dan, you know I could have easily helped you with that. I’ve got a lot of connections too.”

“I know Nate, but” – Dan tries to find the right words. (He doesn’t want to come across as a bitch once again.) – “I just needed to get it done and out and Georgina - she doesn’t ask questions you know. She just does what she needs to do.”

“That sounds like the book is scandalous.”, Serena waggles her eyebrows again.

Finally, the waiter returns. Dan orders another drink. (He needs more to get through this night, he guesses.)

Dan hums noncommittally.

“Ooh.”, Serena bends a little over the table, her eyes glittering. “Dan. What is in the book that you don’t want to tell us about?”

“It is just a tragic love story that people will pick apart into things that are not true.”, he answers with raised eyebrows.

Serena snorts.

“What? They’ve done it with every book of mine that was ever published!”, Dan sips at his cocktail. His head finally feels somewhat light.

“Yeah, because every book you published was influenced by your life, man!”, says Nate and starts laughing. “So, spill it. What is it?”

Dan shakes his head and grins. “You have to promise me something first. BOTH of you!”

“Oh god.”, mumbles Serena and downs her drink. She shudders and then looks at then. “Okay, what do we have to promise?”

“To let me finish and not laugh. And don’t get angry.”, did Dan forget something? No. 

“Should we be afraid? Did you write a revenge porn story about us?”, asks Nate and grips his drink. 

Serena and Dan snort and start laughing.

“No.”, Dan shakes his head very fast. He feels dizzy. Whoops. 

He looks at his drink. It’s empty again. He should get a new one. Fast.

“It is about a failed marriage.”, he starts.

“Dan.”, Serena raises her eyebrows.

“You said you would let me finish!”

“Okay. Sorry. Continue.”, she holds up her hand.

“It’s about OLD people, Serena. Their marriage was like 25 years long!”, Dan protests. “They are in their fifties, really. It's not about us. Plus, the story is not set in New York.”

“Why do they get a divorce?”, Nate asks.

Dan orders a new drink, before he answers.

“Because both realise that they have feelings for their old high school friends.”

“Is this about B- “

“No.” Yes. Maybe? Dan doesn’t know and he doesn’t want Nate and Serena to know that he doesn’t know. “The husband is in love with a man. It is essentially about his realization that he is bisexual.”, which is true. 

He doesn’t mention that the husband had an affair with said man before marrying his wife because it’s. It’s not important.

Both Nate and Serena’s eyes pop open.

Dan loves it.

Serena giggles and Nate clears his throat.

“So… are you?”

“Am I what?”

“You know. Being attracted to men too. Not that I would mind it really! Chuck slept with whomever he found, the gender didn’t matter, really I don’t care!”, Nate groans and buries his face in his hands. “I had too much to drink!”

Dan grins.

He’d rather talk about his sexuality than his new book so he will torture Nate for a while with this.

Nate, on the other hand, looks very stressed.

Serena puts a hand on his shoulder and laughs.

“He’s fucking with you Nate.”

Nate groans.

“Dude, why?”

“Because it’s fun.”, Dan answers and sips at his new drink. He might’ve slurred a bit. It’s been a while since he had a night out and drank pure sugar infused with vodka. Or whatever this drink is.

“So are you bisexual or-?”

Dan raises his eyebrows. “What do you think?”

Nate sighs.

“I think I need a drink.”

“Hear, hear!”, shouts Serena and raises her glass. Dan imitates her and they laugh.

*

They stumble out of the bar into the cold.

Dan fumbles in his pockets, looking for his cigarettes.

“What a great night.”, Serena looks up to the sky as if she was trying to see stars. Dan snorts. Trying to see stars in the sky in New York? Serena must be drunk out of her mind.

Nate nods and slips his hand into Serena’s. Dan looks at their joined hands and tries to figure out if it bothers him.

It doesn’t.

“Alright.”, he murmurs. “I’m gonna head off.”, he says to no one particular.

“Dan, do you really want to drive all the way to Brooklyn now? Just to come to our place.”, Serena is yawning. Which is fair, it is pretty late.

“To hear you two have sex all night? No thank you.”, Dan raises his eyebrows when Nate and Serena open their mouths to protest. 

They don’t say anything after.

“At least take a cab.”, Serena shudders. “And text when you’re home.”

“Yes mom. Something else?”

Nate nods. “Yeah. Don’t forget to brush your teeth and drink some water.”

Dan grins and raises his middle finger.

Then he gets a cab and watches Serena and Nate getting into Nate’s limousine.

Ah, he forgot to ask Nate about his pursuit to become mayor of the city. He will do that. Later.

His head buzzes and he leans his face against the cool car window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again no blair pls forgive me (she appears in the next chapter I promise!!)  
> i know this is a slow & short chapter but i felt that it was needed to get a feeling of the relationship of this trio (plus you get to know a bit more about the book that dan has been writing so) there will be another update this week and this will be where some stuff might happen :)


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dan is woken up in a brutal way. he is still hungover. his visitor doesn't care about that though

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, welcome to chapter 3! the story is finally picking up ~ some ~ speed.
> 
> thank you all for your lovely comments! I'm gonna try to respond to them sooner pls bear with me in the meantime

_Chapter 3_

A never-ending buzz at his door wakes him up. 

Dan blinks and winces when the sunlight hits his eyes.

The bell is still going.

“Fucking hell.”, murmurs Dan and when he tries to roll out of his bed, he hits the floor. 

“Ow!”

The buzzing stops for a second, as if the one buzzing had heard him smashing on the floor. Then it continues.

Dan groans.

He considers putting on earphones and just going to bed.

But what if something actually happened and this is an emergency?

He somehow gets up, his head pounding. Those fucking sugar drinks Serena gave him.

The buzzing is replaced by a knocking now.

Dan rolls his eyes and opens the door.

“Listen Dad I’m fine just because I do- “

Blair stands in front of him, hands on her hips. She looks furious.

Dan is suddenly very self-conscious about his bar smell.

Then he reminds himself that he doesn’t care about Blair Waldorf like that anymore. 

So he doesn’t care how he smells when he meets her.

That’s what he tells himself.

Besides, she looks furious. So even if he smelled good it wouldn’t matter.

By the time Dan actually finishes his stupid train of thought, Blair has already marched into his apartment.

“Hello?”, Dan says. He squints. It is very bright and his head is still pounding.

He needs coffee and maybe something substantial.

His dad’s waffles would be fucking insane right now but he doesn’t have that so bread it is.

“Why does your apartment look like a boggart waltzed through it?”

“Because it is my new interior design style. You like it?”, Dan is tired. His head hurts and his mouth feels like sandpaper. 

“If you only came here to lecture me about interior design you’ve done that now so can you please leave?”, he points to the still open door.

Blair just huffs.

“I’ll make myself a coffee. Maybe you’ve decided then what it is that you actually want.”

Anything to stop his stupid head from hurting.

He grabs a cup and turns on his coffeemaker.

The door closes.

Dan closes his eyes and sighs. He doesn’t know if it’s from relief or something else.

“I want a coffee too.”, Blair remarks. “Would you be so kind?”

Dan stares at the wall. Is he getting pranked? Is Nate getting back at him? What did he do wrong?

“Sure.”, he grumbles and grabs a second cup.

Neither of them speak, while the coffeemaker is producing coffee.

He stares at the machine, so he doesn’t have to look at Blair. When he turns around, two cups in his hand, she is right behind him.

“Woah!”, he stumbles a few steps back.

Thankfully he didn’t let go of the cups of coffee in his hand.

Blair grabs one and sips. Then she grimaces.

“You got any milk?”

“No.”, answers Dan. “You’ll have to make do with this.”

Why is she here?

What does she want?

“How long have you been back in New York?”, Blair asks.

Dan sips at his coffee. 

It burns his tongue.

He just hums.

“Dan. How long? Why didn’t you call? Text? Something?”

Dan notes that she grips the cup so hard, her knuckles are already turning white.

“Is it important?”

Blair just looks at him.

“I didn’t tell anyone.”, Dan just says. “In case you don’t know; My marriage was in shambles when I got back and I didn’t want to talk to anyone so. I didn’t.”, he shrugs. “Don’t take it personally.”

“But I am taking it personally.”

Dan can’t believe he is actually having this conversation right now.

“Blair. I couldn’t talk to anyone. Also why would I call you after the great talk we had at our last meeting?”

Blairs head snaps up, her eyes blazing.

“It was a stupid fight, Dan. I can’t believe you’re still” – she stumbles across the words. – “you’re still on about this. We fought about a movie and you punish me for it?”

It wasn’t just about a movie. It was about a movie with a toxic relationship.

Dan might’ve made a remark that the guy reminded him of Chuck, and oh well, Blair went into full rage mode.

It ended with them not speaking until … now, basically.

Dan snorts.

“Why are you here, Blair?”

The coffee helps with his pounding head.

Blair looks at the ground and then up.

“You could’ve told me that Serena and you are getting a divorce. Or that you were back in New York. Anything, really.”

“Serena is your best friend. Shouldn’t you be the one helping _her_ with this?”

Dan is honestly confused.

“That is not the point.”, Blair looks weirdly vulnerable. Dan wonders if something else is wrong.

“Are you alright, Blair?”

“What? Yes of course.”, she snaps at him. “You were there for me back then when that whole royal disaster happened and I never managed to be there the same way.”

Oh.

_Oh._

“Blair you don’t have to give something back to me. I was there for you because you were hurting, so badly hurting and I was your friend. You needed someone.” The _and I loved you._ hangs unspoken in the air.

Blair nods.

“Fine.”

Then she sets the cup down.

“This coffee is disgusting, Humphrey. You need to work on that.”, with that she leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo,,, blair turned up. and dan needs to work on his barista skills :) I was so nervous about writing blair because I just wanted to do her justice so I hope I did (to a certain degree at least)  
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter! it's short (but sweet)  
> the chapters will get longer the more we get into the story don't worryyy
> 
> see you next week!


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dan gets a text that stresses him out. so much that he has to call georgina. she laughs at him and spills even more tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heey, i'm not gonna say much, i hope u enjoy this chapter (i certainly enjoyed writing it lol)

_Chapter 4_

**> >4pm. Tomorrow. I’ll send you the address later<<**

Dan stares at his phone.

 **> >Maybe I’ve got something to do tomorrow at 4pm<<** he answers.

 **> >Do you have something to do tomorrow at 4pm?<<** comes the answer.

Dan rolls his eyes and sighs.

**> >No.<<**

**> >See you tomorrow then.<<**

Dan almost expects a petty smiley but Blair Waldorf is not someone that actually sends smileys. 

He sits on his couch for five minutes and then he calls – and he cannot believe himself – Georgina.

She picks up after a few moments.

“Dan Humphrey. So you do remember that you have a book coming out?”

“I didn’t call you for like a day, Georgina!”

Georgina snorts. “Your book comes out in four months, Daniel. There is no time to waste. So. What is it that you want?”

Dan contemplates telling her. He concludes that she really is the only one who won’t talk to Blair after, so it’s not like he has a choice.

“Blair was here.”

Georgina starts laughing.

Dan pinches his nose.

He hates his life. 

“She was in your apartment? To do what?”, she asks after a few moments.

Dan can already hear the gears turning in her head.

He shouldn’t have told her. It’s too late now though.

“I’m not sure.”, he says and scratches his head. “That was yesterday. Then today she told me to meet her for coffee or something? Do you think she wants to murder me?”

Georgina is silent for a moment.

“Listen, Humphrey. Not to be human but she probably only wants to catch up or make Chuck jealous or something.”

“Chuck jealous? I don’t think she would honestly want that.”

Georgina makes a weird noise.

“Georgina.”

“Honestly, Dan do you not read ANY gossip sites or magazines? This is getting exhausting. Chuck and Blair apparently have ‘marriage problems’ whatever that means. According to TMZ, Chuck is off building hotels and Blair and their son are left behind. I mean she is also successful, but she’s not traveling the globe and avoiding New York like the plague.”

“Oh.”

Is this why she even came to him? To seek attention? 

“I doubt she would use me to make Chuck jealous. Blair is not that cruel.”

“You were the man she almost left Chuck forever for. That counts for something.”, a phone rings in the background and when Georgina continues to talk she sounds like her old self again: “Listen, Humphrey. Go to that meeting with Blair tomorrow. I. want. Information. Also we can call the paparazzi, create some more buzz about your mysterious novel, you know?”

“Georgina.”

“I’ll only send a few. Bye.”, she hangs up without waiting for his reply.

*

Dan tries to force himself not to google Blair and Chuck.

He gives in, late at night, after a few sleepless hours. 

It’s not as dramatic as Georgina makes it out to be, but there are some pictures of Chuck, alone in a club in New York and Blair yelling in her phone on the streets of New York. 

But honestly? 

When does Chuck not go to a club? And Blair yelling at her phone is also not something that is entirely out of character.

Dan concludes that the rumours are completely and utterly wrong.

He calls Serena in the morning to make sure though. (You never know.)

“Are Chuck and Blair getting a divorce?”

“Hello to you too, Dan.”, answers Serena happily. 

Dan can hear screaming in the background.

“Where are you?”

“I’m preparing a fashion shoot for Blair. She is very busy at the moment.”, answers Serena and then: “No! Put that on the hanger please. Thank you!”

She returns to Dan, who is waiting on the phone.

“Why do you think Blair and Chuck are getting a divorce?”

“Georgina told me.”

Serena sighs.

“Listen, Dan. Yes, things are a bit rough between them right now – and you didn’t hear that from me! – but it is just the usual Chuck and Blair blabbering. Nothing serious yet.”

_Yet._

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Dan. Why are you even asking about this?”, Serena sighs.

Dan sees her in front of his inner eye, pinching her nose.

“Blair was here. And she seemed weird. Then Georgina told me about the rumours, I just – “, Dan runs his fingers through his hair. “I don’t want her to get hurt, that is all.”

Serena laughs.

“I doubt it’s Blair that will end up being the one that is hurt. But you don’t need to worry about this Dan. If something happens I am sure that Blair will let you know.”

“Yeah.”, Dan doubts that but he won’t get into another discussion about that.

“Are you sure there is no other reason that you’re asking about this?”, there is a sly tone in Serena’s voice.

“Yes, I am 100% sure!”

“If you say so.”

“I say so. Goodbye. Good luck with the shoot.”

“Thanks.”, there is still some yelling in the background and Serena hangs up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, georgina is truly dan's news source what would he do without her? i honestly don't know  
> no blair this chapter but she'll appear in the next one!
> 
> i keep repeating myself but the chapters will get a bit longer soon, i promise :)
> 
> see you in a few days!!


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Blair get together. Dramatics ensue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, I decided to post this early because I realised that it's more of an extension of Chapter 4 than anything else :) (this fic will be updated once more this week)
> 
> Thank you for leaving kudos, commenting or simply reading the story :)  
> I hope you enjoy this one!

_Chapter 5_

Dan doesn’t know what to wear.

He hates himself for even fretting about this, as if Blair hasn’t literally seen him in every item of clothing he owns (there are not that many, okay.)

He tells himself, that he is stupid and needs to stop overthinking this so he throws on some black sweater (one of his newer ones) and jeans. He wears old dirty sneakers so he doesn’t look like he actually thought about what he is wearing.

Blair sent him the address of a café in Brooklyn which is surprising. Dan was kind of afraid she would force him to attend some fancy cake shop or whatever it is that Blair Waldorf does these days when she is out for coffee. Then again the chance that anyone sees them there and tries to spin some story around it, is significantly less than it is if they would have coffee right next to Blair’s office. So maybe he shouldn't be so surprised about the chosen setting.

He gets out of his apartment and it immediately starts raining.

Fantastic.

He doesn’t have an umbrella and he wears a leather jacket. He considers going back to the apartment but he is already way too late – Blair will murder him – and the café is not that far away.

So he continues walking down the street, trying to make himself feel some dignity.

Dan feels more like a wet dog, but he has a reputation to hold.

*

He reaches the café a few minutes later, Dan wipes his wet hair out of his face and tries not to look like he just ran through a thunderstorm.

Blair waves at him from her table. When he reaches it and sits down, she frowns.

“What’s happened to you?”

Dan gestures at the outside.

“I could’ve picked you up you know. Have you given up using your phone?”

Dan rolls his eyes. “I thought I would be able to make it without almost drowning in the rain.”

“Well.”, Blair purses her lips and looks him up and down. “You look like a drowned poodle.”

“Yeah, yeah.”, Dan waves his hand. “Did you order?”

Blair shakes her head.

“No, I decided to wait.”, she pauses. “For 15 more minutes than planned.”

“Oh, I’m really sorry.”, the sarcasm is strong in his tone.

She raises an eyebrow.

“You know I prefer punctuality.”

“I didn’t mean to be late! It’s just happened.”, his tone gets a bit snappy; he sighs and rubs his hand over his face.

As he peels his jacket off his shoulders he speaks again: “Ok that tone was unnecessary. I could’ve left earlier but I was busy doing stuff.”

Blair nods.

“You’re forgiven.”, she says in a mighty tone and then laughs quietly.

They make small talk, as they get their coffee. Dan welcomes the warmth of the cup as Blair rants about “incompetent secretaries” and “models that can’t walk a straight line, Dan! Serena walks better than them when she’s drunk out of her mind!” 

There is a burning question in the back of his mind but he pushes it away and just tries to follow Blair’s rants that were clearly very necessary for her to get off her chest .

“Feeling better now?”, he asks, mildly bemused when she takes a deep breath after finishing her last sentence.

“Yes.”, Blair answers and grabs her mug. “But enough about me, it’s not like you care much about fashion given your wardrobe.”

“What is wrong with my clothes?”

“You’ve been wearing the same ever since “– she stops. Ever since they broke up? Ever since he got back with Serena? – “whatever, it doesn’t matter.”, she finishes her sentence and hastily takes a sip of her coffee.

“Why are you being so weird?”, asks Dan. “We broke up. We can talk about it; it doesn’t hurt me. Or you”

 _LIES!_ His brain screams at him, but he ignores it.

“Well, it still wasn’t the best I’ve felt in my life, so I don’t want to revisit it.”, Blair answers. “Tell me. What have you been up to? Anything exciting?”

“I wrote a book.”, answers Dan, before he can stop himself. Blair raises her eyebrows.

“About what? A failed marriage?”, Dan assumes it was supposed to be a joke, but Blair can still read his face enough to know the answer, the second after she said it.

“Oh, Dan. Really?”

“The topic may have been influenced by my current life status but it is really not about my life. Or Serena’s.”

“Does she know that?”

“Oh yeah. We’ve talked about it.”

“Well, what is it about then? Tell me more!”, Blair sets her mug down and claps her hands. She seems excited.

“No.”

“No?”

“No.”

Dan can see Blair’s jaw working.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s a secret. You’ll know, when it gets out.”

“Does _Serena_ know the plot?”

Dan doesn’t answer, just raises an eyebrow.

“Does it really matter if Serena knows or not?”

“Yes!”

Dan doesn’t know what they’re doing here.

“She is my wife.”

“For now. You guys are filing for divorce, are you not?”

“Yeah, why? Do you need some tips for a good divorce attorney?”, Dan knows he’s made a mistake, the second he speaks it out loud.

But right now he is too annoyed to really care.

Blair scoffs and shakes her head.

“You know, I knew some comment like that would come, Humphrey.”, she shakes her head.

“Why did you invite me for coffee then?”, Dan asks and finally gets the question off his chest.

Blair stands up and puts on her coat with more force than necessary.

“Because I thought you might need a friend. And maybe I just wanted us to be in contact again. I should’ve known you would ruin it because you care too much about your reputation as a snarky “I hate everyone”-writer to have a civilised conversation.”, she says and storms out of the café.

Five seconds later she storms back in to pay the waitress for her drink and – Dan squints – to give her a solid tip. She doesn’t look at him, while doing it. 

Dan wants to be amused by this whole behaviour but he can’t ignore the uneasy feeling in his stomach. 

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whooops
> 
> see you on the weekend!


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dan's book launch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hii here is the next chapter after that little cliffhanger the last time 
> 
> not gonna lie this chapter was the hardest for me to write, i rewrote and edited it so many times... I'm still not that happy with it but the story has to go on so here we go.  
> I hope you enjoy it :) (I think it's also the longest chapter so far)

_Chapter 6_

Dan did call Blair one week later to tell her he’s sorry.

Blair just answers that she “forgives him and that she might have overreacted a tiny bit”. 

Dan takes it.

The months go by and things are still a bit weird between them, since Dan still hasn’t told her what the book is about and Blair knows that Serena and Nate know what the story is about.

It seems to bother her more that Nate also knows since he “doesn’t appreciate a fine story like I do, Dan!”.

At this point Dan doesn’t tell her just to be annoying because that’s what he excels at.

He invites her to the launch though.

Still. Things are bit wobbly and tense, but Blair is preparing for some fashion shoot thing and Dan has his hands full with promo for his new book so they don’t see each other much anyway.

Georgina has him running around New York for two weeks straight before she finally leaves him alone.

“Your book launch will be in a small round. We’re doing the whole exclusive, mysterious thing. You haven’t published anything in a while and the people are hungry for more gossip about the New Yorker elite. Not knowing what the book is about and not knowing where it’ll be published is actually pushing the numbers of pre-ordered books.”

Dan doesn’t remind her that the book won’t be about the New Yorker elite.

Georgina doesn’t believe him anyways, even though she has already read it twice.

(To find any Easter eggs that Dan might be asked about in coming interviews. Georgina hates nothing more than not being prepared.)

Dan has one day to himself before the launch tomorrow and he decides that he will spend it sleeping on the couch and watching shitty reality TV.

He's just laid down when his phone vibrates with an incoming call.

Dan groans and heaves himself up to grab it.

“Yeah?”, he mutters into the phone.

“Dan! Lily and I would like to treat you to dinner tonight before your big book launch tomorrow. Do you have time or has Georgina destroyed you?”

Dan considers lying.

But he hasn’t seen his father for a while. (And Lily). 

Plus, there will be free food.

“Yeah, no, I’m fine. Dinner sounds good. When?”

*  
Dan feels a little bit underdressed.

That’s a lie.

He feels _disgustingly_ underdressed.

“Why didn’t you tell me we would dine in one of the most expensive restaurants that exist in this town?”

His dad laughs at him.

“Dad, I’m in a sweater and dark trousers. They probably let me in because they thought I’m some new waiter or something. You could’ve warned me.”

“Dan, don’t worry, it’s fine. Your dad and I are paying way too much for the food for them to throw us out.”, Lily smiles and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t you worry about it.”

Dan sighs.

“Who else is coming?”, he asks then and nods at the two plates across from him.

“Oh, I invited Serena and Nate. I hope that’s okay?”, Lily asks and glances at Rufus.

Dan nods. “Don’t worry, that’s fine. I just hope they arrive soon enough, so we can eat.”

He finishes his sentence and sees Serena coming in. She looks around and spots them.

And of course she’s dressed appropriately. Nate steps in a second later. In a fucking suit.

Dan should’ve asked his dad to just order in, honestly. He doubts that the free food is truly worth this humiliation.

Serena greets them all with air kisses and then sits down. Nate shakes their hands and hugs Lily, before he sits down next to her.

*

“So, Dan. Will you finally tell us about your book? We only know it’s coming out tomorrow.”, Lily asks.

“It’ll be a surprise.”, answers Dan relaxed. He’s already finished his food and is therefore at peace. “I’m sorry Lily, Georgina forbid me from telling anyone after she found out Nate and Serena already know.”

Lily and Rufus look at them with raised eyebrows but Nate mimics a zipper across his lips and Serena smiles and shrugs. 

“Georgina called me at 3am, threatening me, that if I would ever tell anyone else she would release articles right before the election. There’s nothing we can do.”, answers Nate and adds: “Sorry.”

Lily sighs. 

“Fine.”

“So, Dan, what should we wear tomorrow? Any dress code?”, asks his father and waggles his eyebrows.

“Funny.”, answers Dan. “Wear whatever you want. You can show up in joggers for all I care.”, and there’s Lily’s gasp.

“We won’t wear anything inappropriate like that Dan and I hope you know that. It’s a great evening for you and we will dress accordingly.”

“I didn’t expect you to do anything else.”, answers Dan. 

“I hope you know we’re very proud of you, son.”, Rufus looks him in the eye. “It’s been a while since you were able to finish a book so whatever it’ll be about, I’m sure it will be fantastic. I personally cannot wait to read it.”

Dan nods and smiles.

“Thanks dad.”

*

Georgina is standing in front of his bed when he wakes up.

“Wha- GEORGINA!”, he yells and tries to hide his bare chest with his blanket.

She just rolls her eyes.

“Get up and get ready. I’ve made coffee. We have a lot to do.”, with that she leaves the room.

A few moments later he hears cluttering in the kitchen.

Dan cannot wait for this day to be over.

He takes a few moments to feel sorry for himself, then he gets up and walks into the kitchen.

A “get dressed!”, greets him.

He rolls his eyes and helps himself to a coffee.

“We’ve got time.”, he murmurs and squints at the clock. “How did you even get in?”

“I’ve got a key.”, Georgina answers. She’s already dressed in some fancy navy suit. “We got to keep going. You’ve got an appointment at the hairdresser in one hour and we need to get your suit from the drycleaners.”

“I got a suit?”

“Yes, I got you one. It’s navy too, so we’re matching!”

“…Fantastic.”

And with that she ushers him back to his room, where he gets dressed and is allowed to brush his teeth before they leave his apartment.

After that everything gets kind of blurry. He’s sitting at the hairdresser, while Georgina grabs them breakfast. He eats in the car while they drive to wherever Georgina got his suit dry-cleaned. (Dan has learned not to ask too many questions.)

The suit is … not too bad actually. And it fits nicely. Dan feels like a new human being.

Georgina looks at him and nods.

“That will do. There’ll be a stylist coming in later to hide those wrinkles you got and make your skin look a bit fresh.”

“I won’t use Botox!”

Georgina rolls her eyes. “I’m talking about skin products and makeup. Calm yourself.”

“Fine.”

*

Dan tries to take some of the food that the caterer is bringing in, but Georgina slaps his hand.

“Ow!”, he complains

“You’re not taking any of that! We don’t have much food here because there will be like 20 people max. And if there’s food missing, everyone will notice it.”, she glares at him. He rolls his eyes and steps away from the table.

“Fine. But you could’ve given me more food. I’m starving.”

“You’re not starving, you’re a brat.”, Georgina clicks with her tongue. Then her phone is ringing.

“Do not move.”, she says. “I’ll be right back.”

Dan moves the second she is out of sight. He steals one of the cookies and tries to hide in case Georgina comes back before he can finish eating.

She comes back five minutes later, when Dan is standing right where she left him.

“You’ve got crumbs in the left corner of your mouth, Daniel. Don’t even try to trick me.”

He sighs and she tries to speak but then his dad arrives and saves him from Georgina’s wrath.

“That’s a nice suit!”, his father says, examining him. Then he looks at Georgina with raised eyebrows. It takes a while for Dan to remember that they’re both wearing a navy suit.

“We’re twinning!”, Georgina announces. “Someone had to get Dan to look presentable and I’m his agent so it’s basically my job.”

His father just nods and tries to open his mouth but Georgina cuts him to it.

“Okay, so the schedule for tonight. In half an hour the guests should arrive. Your family and some chosen friends. I invited some reporters, only from successful magazines of course, and some people from the publishing company. I want you to mingle but don’t say anything about the book, got it? We will serve the food, get some champagne out and when everyone is satisfied, I’ll introduce you. You will hold the little speech you hopefully have prepared and then read the prologue of the novel. After that you have a few small interviews and that’s it. I hope we’ll be done by midnight.”

Dan nods.

He can do that.

Speech, reading and interviews. Easy.

*

It’s not easy.

Dan forgot that socialising is _exhausting_.

Everyone is there – not a lot of people but enough that Dan has his hands full with trying not to tell people anything about his book.

Serena and Nate thankfully draw some attention to them (being in the race for being the future mayor of New York tends to that) so Dan has time to take a breather, while going through his speech.

He takes a sip of his champagne and a hand touches his shoulder.

He turns around, already a polite smile on his face but it’s not a reporter from the New York Times. It’s Blair. She’s alone.

“You came!”, Dan is surprised. 

He didn’t think Blair would show up.

“I did.”, Blair looks as surprised, as Dan feels. 

“Did you come alone? You could’ve brought Chuck, I told you.”

Blair tries to smile. 

“He didn’t have the time. He’s flying to Bahrain tonight. Finishing a project or whatever.”, she wobbles.

Dan squints. 

Blair’s face is flushed and while she looks perfectly composed and put together from afar, if you got a closer look she seems a bit out of it.

“Blair… are you drunk?”, Dan tries to hide his grin.

Blair scoffs and looks scandalized. “I’m not drunk! I’ve had a drink before coming here that’s all.”

She shakes her head and murmurs something.

“Where’s Serena?”, she then asks.

“Over there with Nate.”, Blair rolls her eyes at the sound of – oh yeah, they were together – her ex-boyfriend’s name. 

“If you’ll excuse me, Georgina wants something.”, Dan says and it’s not even an excuse. Georgina is angrily waving her hand at him.

She literally could’ve just called out to him, the room is not that big.

Dan goes over and Georgina basically tells him the same thing she told him before.

Introduction, then speech, then reading and then interviews.

“I know.”, Dan interrupts her. “Let’s just get on with it.”

Georgina raises her eyebrows and opens her mouth but then just shakes her head and gets up on the little stage that has been built (it’s not really a stage, just a microphone that stands on a tiny platform).

“Hey! Can I get everyone’s attention please!”, Georgina smiles and Dan is once again surprised that she knows how to smile sweetly.

It's weird.

“You’re all here because Dan Humphrey has – finally – decided to grace us all with a new book. It’s been a while and I know we all have been waiting for something new from him.”

People laugh. Dan cringes.

“And let me tell you, when he sent me his book over and told me the synopsis, I was a bit sceptical. But when I read it, it blew me out of the water. This book shows us a different side of Dan Humphrey’s skillset and I for one cannot wait for you all to see this different side to him too! And now I’ll stop talking and let the man of this evening speak. Please clap politely for Dan Humphrey!”

Dan will never let Georgina introduce him ever again. Or let anyone introduce him using more than a sentence really.

He gets up on stage.

“Yeah, hi!”, he says dumbly before remembering that he actually prepared a speech. 

“Welcome, everyone. I wanted to have this book launch as private and quiet as my agent would possibly allow me. This book is something that I’ve written in the quieter moments of my life. I didn’t anticipate to ever write something like this and I know people have been more used to me exposing my private life and that of others but I assure you that this book is different. The plot has been somehow influenced by what happened in my life recently.”, he looks at Serena who is standing in the corner across from him. She smiles a rather sad smile. “But I didn’t expose any of that in this book. The main character may have some traits that I also have but everything else is entirely fictional, just to stop any speculation. The book is essentially a story about love, about realising that the life you have planned for yourself might not be what you need or want in life. It’s about realising that the love you have for one person can be hidden deep in your soul without you realising that it is there. I won’t tell you the plot, I would rather just read you the prologue.”

Dan smiles thinly. 

He spoke a bit more than he wanted to but the words just flew out, without him being able to stop it.

Everyone is looking expectantly.

So he opens the first pages of the book that Georgina hands him and starts reading.

*

He just finished answering the questions in his last interview, when someone taps on his shoulder. 

He turns around and sees Serena in front of him holding his book.

“That was a nice speech. Short but very eloquent and touching.”, she says.

“Thank you.”, Dan rubs his face. He’s starting to get tired and he also doesn’t want to get emotional right now. 

“The prologue was just an inner monologue about a man feeling trapped in his expectations for his marriage though, wasn’t it?”

Dan doesn’t answer because he doesn’t want to deal with emotions that may come rolling in when he answers.

“It’s your thoughts on paper, isn’t that right?”, Serena asks quietly. 

Does she really want to do this now?

“I’m not judging you Dan, I just want to know.”

“I didn’t feel like that when we just got married.”, Dan says. His voice is raspy. “I was happy back then. I thought I would stay happy. I thought we were each other’s person.”

Serena nods. “I thought the same.”

Then she laughs.

“I’m glad we ended it soon enough before we started hating each other.”, she whispers.

Dan nods.

“I feel the same.” Serena squeezes his hand and quickly kisses his cheek. “Nate and I have to leave soon, but we can meet for brunch soon if you want?”

“Yeah sure.” Then she glides away.

Dan takes a deep breath.

He didn’t think that his emotions would be that strong tonight.

Georgina appears to his right.

“You did good.”, she whispers into his ear. “Everyone’s eating up the whole sad “my love for my wife wasn’t as romantic as I thought it would be and now I’m left at the ruins of my marriage and hate my life”-thing you pulled.” 

Dan rolls his eyes.

“Thanks Georgina.”, he says sourly.

She pats his shoulder. 

“We should meet up tomorrow to discuss strategies about how you want to deal with the whole coming out speculation thing. I’ll let you sleep in though, so afternoon coffee?”

“Coming out speculation?”, Dan furrows his brow.

“Yeah, Dan. Your main character is bisexual in case you forgot. And you just said that some traits of the protagonist could be applied to you too.”

“Oh yeah. That.”

“Yeah. That. I’ll come by tomorrow.”

He nods. 

(She would’ve come over either way so it’s not like he has a choice.)

She tries to turn, but he grabs her arm.

“Have you seen Blair?”

Georgina raises his eyebrows.

“She seemed a bit weird that’s all. I just wanna make sure, that she is fine. That’s it.”

Georgina shrugs. “I don’t know if she’s fine. But she left after you finished reading the prologue. And she stole one copy of your book from the table, while leaving the room.”

“Oh. So she’s gone?”

“Yep! But your dad is there and wants to talk to you. I’ll shut the whole thing down in half an hour, so try and don’t yawn until then.”

Dan turns around and sees Lily and his dad walking towards him, smiling brightly.

He smiles too and tries to ignore the uneasy feeling in his stomach, while listening to his father proudly declaring his son the most accomplished writer of his generation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The resolving of Dan and Blairs fight is a bit anticlimatic I know but stay tuned for a bit more ~ dramatics ~ between the two of them. It's what they do best  
> Also I wanted to point out again that the ending of Dan and Serenas marriage was and is still sad for them even if they are not in love anymore soo I wrote that little talk between them at the end of the chapter heh
> 
> Thank you again @ everyone that read, left kudos and/or commented it means a lot!
> 
> See you next week :))


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan comes out to the public. Georgina needs to update her relationship chart and Blair tries to play matchmaker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome back! 
> 
> i wanted to originally update yesterday but work had me half dead so I just went to sleep when I came back home
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

_Chapter 7_

Dan wakes up and he is … alone.

Thank god.

No Georgina in sight.

He starts his day slow, his head slightly buzzing from all the champagne he drank with his dad before Georgina kicked everyone out.

Yawning he checks his phone. Georgina sent him a bestseller list with his book claiming the number 3 spot. Attached to the picture are three exclamation marks and a text: **> > Our mysterious vibe plan is working. People are eating it up! The articles about your launch are already up in the times and on the New Yorker website! You’ll do more interviews this week, don’t even try to get out of it!!<<**

He clicks his tongue and makes himself a coffee.

After that he decides to go on a run.

He regrets that decision after 10 minutes. 

Hot coffee swapping in his stomach is not the best feeling in the world. 

So that’s why he goes back home, takes a hot shower and turns on the TV to watch some reality TV.

And this is where Georgina finds him two hours later.

She drops a bag in his lap. 

“Bagels.”, she answers. “I assume that all you consumed until now are like three cups of coffee.”

Dan has his dignity and his pride so he doesn’t answer.

She sits down next to him and pulls her phone out of her bag.

“Dan, are you ready to listen to me and respond to my questions?”

Dan is currently biting into one of the bagels (with cream cheese) and nods. Eating and listening is something he can do.

“Okay.”, Georgina leans slightly forward, a serious expression on her face.

Dan is a bit weirded out.

Does she want him to join a cult?

What is going on?

“Dan. Your protagonist in the book is bisexual.”

Dan nods. 

He knows that. 

He wrote the book.

“You said during your speech at the book launch – that was recorded by the way – that you share several characteristics with that character.”

Dan nods again. 

He also knows that since he held said speech.

The bagel is really good! He needs to ask Georgina where she got those bagels from.

“The question now is: Do you also share the same sexuality with your character?”, she raises her eyebrows and claps her hand.

“Yeah.”

The bagel is finished. What now?

Georgina looks a bit surprised.

“What? Are you biphobic?”, answers Dan mostly to get a raise out of her.

(Provoking Georgina can be very funny).

“I’m not biphobic Dan. That would be very hypocritical of me.”, she doesn’t elaborate further on her comment and Dan doesn’t ask.

“Thank you for telling me.”, she says. “I just need to know if you’re willing to talk about your sexuality and how it influenced your book to some reporters? Or do you want me to tell them to back off from the topic?”

Dan shrugs.

“I don’t care.”

“So you would talk about it?”

“If they ask me about it, sure. I don’t get what the whole deal is.”

“The whole deal is, Dan, that people will interpret that as your coming out and try and sniff around in your private life looking for something that is a connection to your book.”

“Let them sniff. I’ve got nothing to hide.”

“Do you have a partner that doesn’t want to be found out? Any older relationships with men that could be embarrassing or awful to talk about?”

Dan shakes his head.

“I’ve had a few hook-ups. That’s literally it, I promise. You know of every relationship I’ve had.”, that’s true. 

She has a whole chart with all of his relationships. 

Georgina nods.

“Okay.”, then she stands up. “I’ll send you a schedule for the rest of the week later. I won’t attend every interview so if someone says something biphobic or homophobic or is in any way discriminating, tell me and I will ruin them. Alright?” 

Dan nods.

Georgina turns to leave.

“Thank you.”, Dan says. 

Mostly for the bagels but also for having his back.

Georgina nods.

“You’re welcome.”

*

Dan continues to watch reality TV and ignores his phone until it’s dark outside.

When he looks at his messages he tries not to roll his eyes, because of course everyone is speculating, sending him articles on articles (okay there are not that many, he’s not that well-known). 

Georgina sent him the bestseller list from the New York Times AGAIN and tells him his sells are going up so it’s assumed he’ll take the number one spot soon.

Serena texts him saying that Nate and she will have his back if anyone tries to pin anything on Dan’s sexuality regarding the divorce. Jenny texts him about the launch and that she already ordered a book for herself. (Even though Dan already send her one)

Not a peep from Blair.

Dan tries to not let it bother him.

*

The next day is filled with two interviews which are done by 3pm. Georgina sits with him through them. Dan would’ve liked to asked if he was actually gonna talk about the book at any point soon but she shot him a warning look.

“ _Out_ contacted me.”, she says when they leave the last interview. “They asked if you’d be interested to do a little feature? Not front page or anything but like an interview and a little photoshoot. They could even do it in New York so you wouldn't need to travel.”

“Will it be about my book or my sexuality?”

“Don’t be so moody. It’s a good way to a) get more people interested in the book and you and b) it’s actually good publicity. So, do you wanna do it?”

“Do I actually have a choice?”

Dan should’ve brought a scarf. It’s getting colder every day.

“Of course. So, what should I tell them?”, Georgina raises her eyebrows.

“I don’t know.”, answers Dan and it’s true. “Why do they even want me? I never had a real relationship with a man.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you’re bisexual and a popular writer that just came out.”

“I don’t know if I’m the right choice for this, Georgina. I doubt that I’m actually a good representation of a bisexual man.”

She purses her lips.

“Self-doubt doesn’t look good on you.”, she finally says. “I’ll tell them that you’d like to think about it. They gave us two days. So try and give it a good thought.”, she puts a hand on his arm.

“You’re not worth less just because you haven’t had any relationship experience with people that aren’t women, okay?”

“Okay.”, Dan rolls his eyes.

“Get over yourself, Humphrey.”, she says and raises her hand to get a taxi. “Call me tomorrow if you thought about the feature. I think it’d be good.”

A car stops next to them and she gets in. 

Dan waves shortly as she drives away.

*

When he comes home he realises his phone died.

He just plugged it in, when there is a knock on his door.

What now?

As he opens it, Blair stands in front of him.

“Hello?”

“Do you ever pick up your phone?”

“It died.”, he answers simply.

She walks inside.

“I called three times.”

“Okay? I missed those calls. Sorry.”, Dan is getting irritated. 

He is hungry and he is cold.

And it doesn’t look like Blair’s calls were actually life and death related.

“I read your book.”, she says.

Already?

“Did you like it?”, he opens his fridge and a weird smell hits him.

Take-out it is.

“I liked the relationship. It got too pretentious at times though.”

“Well, I’m pretentious so my book will be pretentious as well. It’s only logical.”

Blair hums.

Her eyes are looking everywhere but at Dan.

Clearly, something is bothering her.

“What’s wrong?”, he asks.

Blair blinks. “What do you mean?”

“There’s something that is clearly on your mind. So tell me please, I’m not in the mood for one of your mind games.”

Blair is quiet for a few seconds.

Dan waits.

Then, “Are you lonely, Dan?”

Huh.

“No.”, Dan answers because while he is alone a lot of the time, he doesn’t feel alone. “Why are you asking?”

Blair bites her lip.

“It’s just. The book. The protagonist just feels so lonely after the divorce. And you said that you share some characteristics or whatnot. I just wanted to make sure you’re doing okay.”

“Not every single thought or behaviour of my character is an exact copy of mine, Blair. The theme of the book and the main character is slightly influenced by my life. That’s it.”

Blair nods.

“I think you should go out a bit more though. I’ve got a new designer in my team, I think you two would like each other. You could go out, get some drinks maybe?”

Dan nods before his brain catches up.

Blair smiles brightly.

“Excellent!”

“Blair, wai- “, but she has already walked out of his apartment.

Did Blair just set him up with someone?

And did Dan actually say yes?

*

In the end the date didn’t go terribly.

The designer – Jonathan – is a nice guy and is also handsome.

But they both realise throughout this set-up that there is nothing romantic going on, so they end up having a couple of drinks. 

As friends.

Blair pouts when Dan tells her but one day later she calls him telling him about this woman she met at a gala – and “Dan, she likes the movies! Plus, her style is wonderful, I’m sure she can help you actually look good.”

And it’s not like Dan has actually much to do, apart from giving interviews here and there and getting coffee with Georgina. Or brunch with Nate and Serena.

(He did the feature with Out. It was out of his comfort zone but it’s success proved Georgina right and him wrong.)

Also there is this tiny slimmer of hope that he might find someone he actually likes. But he shoves that down fast enough.

The woman – Sandy – shows up for the coffee date, but leaves for the bathroom a few minutes later and doesn’t come back.

Dan finds it funny. 

Blair is angry.

She sets him up with a “friend of a friend” one week later.

His name is Richie and as much as Dan laughs about the name, Richie is actually the best out of the three. 

He’s a photographer and looks every bit like the pretentious artist that Dan imagined.

They go on another date.

Then on a third. 

After that Richie starts to sleep over and Dan actually finds himself enjoying his company.

Blair is a bit weird about it, when he congratulates her on actually being successful for once, but Dan ignores it.

A few weeks later Richie lands a job at a high-end photograph magazine.

In Cape Town. 

And with that their little fling ends.

Dan gets drunk with Nate that night and after that he’s fine.

When he calls Blair to tell her, (Georgina didn’t pick up, he wanted to give her the information for her relationship chart), she tells him to come over.

When he arrives at Blair and Chuck’s apartment, she greets him at the door with a smile.

“Come in.”

The living room of the apartment is as big as Dan’s entire flat.

It’s more cosy than he imagined though. 

They sit at the table, a whole brunch menu placed before them.

Dan hears running and Henry – Blair’s and Chuck’s son stops in front of him.

“Hi!”, he says, with red cheeks.

“Hey Henry. You good?”, Dan is not good with children. 

But he’ll try. Besides. Henry seems to not actively dislike him which is already something.

“I’m very good. I get good grades everywhere. My dad says I will take over his empire sooner than he can imagine”, he announces. 

Blair mumbles something under her breath. 

But she smiles when Henry looks at her.

Dan looks at her and frowns.

But he knows better than to say anything.

“You want a croissant?”, he asks instead. “We’ve got like 20 lying around here.”

Henry shakes his head.

“I’ve got soccer practice now.”

“Jim will take you.”, Blair says. “He’s waiting downstairs. Do you want me to go with you?”

Henry shakes his head and turns to leave.

“See you later Mom. Bye Dan.”

“Bye.”, he mumbles.

As soon as Henry is gone, Blair’s face loses her smile.

She looks tired.

“Are you okay?”

She waves her hand dismissively. 

“Yes. Just tired. Work has been a lot and Chuck hasn’t been here that often. Henry seems very grown, but he is still a child and needs attention and love.”

Dan nods, biting his tongue.

“Besides, this isn’t about me. How are you feeling?”, she asks and sips at her cup.

Dan shrugs.

“I’m fine. It’s not like Richie and I were extremely in love. It was just nice.”

Blair nods and sets the cup down.

“If you say so.”

“I’m fine.”, Dan says. Then, because he can’t help himself. “Are you?”

“I just told you.”, Blair answers with more aggression for it to seem normal. “That I am just tired.”

“Because you have to raise your child alone?”, Dan knows this is a low blow. 

But he had to say it.

Blair shakes her head.

“You don’t understand.”, she begins. “He has a lot to do. And he can’t do it all in New York. It’s very demanding.”

Dan scoffs.

“He also has a family in New York that he needs to take care of. Besides – you have a whole fashion empire to run too.”

Blair closes her eyes.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”, she says.

“Blair, this can’t be what you imagined when you” – his throat is dry – “when you married him.”, _when you went back to him. When you left me, for him_ he wants to say.

He doesn't.

Blair suddenly looks very angry.

“And what would you know about what I imagined? Weren’t you a bit busy fucking my best friend?”

Dan closes his eyes and tries to push his fury down.

“Yes. That was wrong. But at the time you had already mentally broken up with me and went back to him. And I've apologized for that countless times. I don’t need to apologize again.”

His anger fills his whole body. 

“You went back to him. After everything he has done and apparently continues to do. I didn’t think you would ever let him treat you like that again. The Blair Waldorf I know would have – “ 

“Oh, the Blair Waldorf you know would have what Dan?”

Somehow during their argument, they both had jumped up and are now staring angrily at each other. 

So close, Dan can count Blair’s eyelashes. 

Her light freckles under the blush.

It’s a bit distracting. But his hurt, his anger is stronger.

“She wouldn’t have let herself be treated like that. She would’ve known that she deserved better than sitting alone at home with her child while her husband is out celebrating in some club like he is still a young bachelor! He doesn’t care about his family. He’s out partying day and night, if it’s here or in Dubai or god knows where.”, Dan is unfair. He knows. That doesn’t stop him though.

Blair stabs her finger in his chest. 

Her gaze is blazing.

“You know shit, Humphrey. What do you know about having a family, huh? You know nothing, about what it’s like! Not everyone runs away from their responsibility after not even trying!”

“I didn’t run away when it mattered most.”, his voice is rough.

Blair trembles.

“Shut up.”, she mumbles. “Shut up! You were fine.”, she then spits. “Fine with Serena, after licking your wounds for a summer. It meant nothing to you that we we’re done, you didn’t pick up my calls, didn't read my emails, nothing. Don’t you dare tell me now, that our relationship mattered most, you dick- “

Dan grabs her hand before she hits him or something.

Then he presses a kiss to her knuckles – mid rant. 

She stops. 

Her eyes wide, shining with unshed tears.

“It mattered most. It still does.”

And then Dan does, what he does best.

He flees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehehe 
> 
> I love writing Georgina she's the best. What would Dan do without her??? What would this story be without her?!  
> Dan being bisexual wasn't that much of a plot point originally but I wanted to flesh it out a bit more (Dan not feeling "bisexual enough" is something that I - a fellow bisexual - also felt before and I wanted to show that he is still somewhat insecure about his coming out even if he doesn't act like it)  
> Originally I had written Dan already kissing Blair during their fight but it felt a bit too much for me - Dan is still somewhat in denial about his feelings so I didn't see him doing that and it felt weird when I tried to write it. Besides it's not something Blair would've wanted right now and I didn't want him to make her even more uncomfortable than she already was.
> 
> Yes, the ending is a bit mean but I'll update on the weekend so the wait wont be long!!


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan mopes. But fear not Georgina comes to the rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! sorry for the delay but sometimes I try to be a responsible human and actually do some work for my bachelor thesis sometimes, so the weekend was crammed:)
> 
> I added another chapter because I am too dumb to count and forgot my epilogue
> 
> Another thing since it does come up here and there: Yes, Dan is bisexual in my story. I've written him that way, I like to have bi Dan as a headcanon. I accept if you see him as straight, but I would like it if people actually accepted my choice to have him as bisexual in the story too :) Thank yoou ♥

_Chapter 8_

Dan is not surprised that Blair doesn’t call in the next weeks.

He doesn’t call either because A) she has probably a restraining order against him in place and B) he just feels completely and utterly embarrassed.

So.

He’s fine with no contact between them. 

(He is not fine.)

He hasn’t told anyone about their fight and about Dan’s realisation that once again his writing has been about himself all along. 

He just got better at hiding it. 

It’s frustrating.

Who is still in love with someone after already marrying someone else? 

After YEARS of trying to forget and push away the thoughts of that relationship, of the feelings it’s brought up.

Dan hates his melodramatic ass for only realising now that he still loves Blair. 

That he is still in love with Blair. 

At least now that he’s noticed, he can actively work against it. 

Pining away may be good for his writing but it is not good for his sanity. 

That’s why those feelings for Blair have to go.

But how?

*

“Alright, enough.”, Georgina sits across him.

“Huh?”, Dan looks up from his coffee that he’s been staring into.

“You’ve been weird for like two weeks. Normally, I’d think you’re in some creative writing space, but I know you’ve been doing nothing of that sort. Spill it.”

“Spill what?”

“Spill what’s wrong with you? Dan you’ve been holing yourself up in your apartment. I’ve managed to drag you out but only because I bribed you with food. If I wouldn’t know better, I would say you’re lovesick.”

Dan doesn’t answer.

Georgina lets out a gasp.

“No! Who is it Dan Humphrey? You’re not still hung up on that one slimy photographer, are you?!”

“His name is Ritchie. And he wasn’t slimy.”

Georgina snorts.

Dan would defend his fling but he doesn’t have the energy.

If you wanna fight Georgina, you need to eat before that and he hasn’t.

“Also I’m not lovesick.”

“You so are.”

She leans forward, now excited.

“Spill it, Dan. I won’t tell anyone! Besides I need to know in case some spurned lover comes forward and tries to talk shit about you to the press.”

Dan rolls his eyes.

“That won’t happen, believe me.”

“Who?”

“Georgina.”

“ _Who_?”

Dan rolls his eyes.

He considers running away, but Georgina would just drag him back to his seat.

“Blair.”, he whispers.

Georgina blinks.

“I won’t say it again.”

“Dan. You’re not serious.”

“Look, it’s not like I want to feel this way?”, he exclaims. “You don’t think I would rather not be in love with Blair Waldorf?”

Georgina looks like she’s trying not to laugh.

“What?”

“Nothing. Listen, Dan. What even happened? Where is this coming from? You don’t just start behaving like a lovesick idiot without reason?”

Dan considers lying.

Then he remembers who Georgina is.

And he tells her what’s happened.

“Telling her that you’re basically still in love with her mid-fight is a dick move, Dan Humphrey.”, she just says and sighs.

“I know. I’m not proud of what happened.”

Georgina sighs.

“Maybe you could apologize?”

Dan shakes his head.

“You know Blair. She won’t listen to me if she doesn’t want to. And believe me – she doesn’t want to see me right now. I said some ugly things about the person she loves most in the world. She tends to be very unforgiving in those cases. I’ll let her cool off a bit.”

“For how long will you let her cool off?”

“Maybe a century.”

Georgina laughs and Dan manages a slight grin.

It feels better to talk about things and stuff. He should remember that for the future.

“Let’s talk about the important things in life.”, Georgina looks back at her laptop.

“People are trying to buy the film rights for your book. Are you aware of that?”

“How could I be aware of that, you literally just told me.”

“Well? Do you wanna sell the film rights? You’ve got them, you know, I put that in our contract with the publishers. The decision lies with you alone.”

“Well, I haven’t thought of the book as a film.”

“It doesn’t necessarily have to be a film. A very famous streaming platform that you might know, is interested in doing a whole tv-show of it.”

Dan blinks.

“Yeah. It’s wild. The book has hit a nerve. Apparently.”

“Apparently.”, he mumbles.

“So what will it be?”, she looks at him. “Do you want me to send you the offers? Should I do a selection first or do you wanna see it all?”

“Uh…”

“Eloquent as always, I see. I’ll send you everything. Get back to me in like two or three days, Dan.”

“Okay, I will.”

It might take his mind off of … things. And stuff.

*

It’s almost midnight when Dan manages to grab his laptop and looks at the proposals Georgina sent him. 

He goes through them all.

Then decides he doesn’t know and goes to bed. Maybe sleep will help.

The sleep doesn’t help.

Dan sits in front of his laptop, a coffee mug in his hand and stares grumpily at the screen.

He made a list with all the things that he wants (which basically is just that Dan is working with whoever is doing the movie. He wants to be involved.)

So far none of the proposals include that. 

And he’s almost done.

He closes his mails and looks at his phone.

Georgina sent him a message. **> > OMG, DANIEL! Look what I just saw. Thought you might be interested 😉 <<**

Dan frowns. 

He hates the winking emoji. 

But he still clicks on the link she sent him.

And then he doesn’t even know what to respond.

_THE DIVORCE THAT SHAKES NEW YORK! BLAIR AND CHUCK BASS CALL IT QUITS!_

Shit.

*

Dan has read like 10 articles about Blair and Chuck’s divorce. 

He’s not proud of it.

But they all say the same.

An official statement has yet to come out but Blair has moved all of her stuff (and her son’s) out of the apartment she and Chuck used to live in together. She moved into the old apartment of her mom, apparently. 

At least that’s where her stuff was moved.

Gossip magazines can be quite scary when it comes to getting information.

She’s not really been seen ever since she got photographed with her son while moving out. (That’s what the article says.)

Dan knows he could just ask her.

But he can’t bring himself to do it. 

It’d be unbearable for Blair and besides – she would ignore him anyway. 

So he decides to write her a letter.

Simple. 

And she can throw it away if she doesn’t want to read it.

And he wouldn’t feel awkward.

The thing is – Dan is selfish. 

If he can avoid getting hurt, he will avoid getting hurt. 

And he doesn’t want to hurt Blair and he thinks that even if he manages to tell her that he is sorry for what happened, their fight and Blair’s divorce, she won’t believe him.

(He feels sorry for her, though, it wouldn’t be a lie. A divorce means admitting you’ve made a mistake and you’ve married the wrong person for you. Nobody wants that and Dan wishes Blair would’ve been happy with Chuck. He would have been happy, if she ended up being happy with him, but you cannot force things like that. Truly.)

So he sits down and writes a letter.

He tells her that he’s sorry for his words. 

That – if it’s true – he’s also very sorry that she and Chuck separated. That he wishes she wouldn’t have to go through that. And that, despite his words before, he wished that she would be happy with Chuck and that he thought that they and Henry would be a family forever. That he wishes her all the best. That she is strong, admirable and brave. And that he hopes, she can forgive him in time. That, if she needs him, he will always be there for her. And that he was a dick. 

It’s all kinda mushy.

Sickening, really.

But Dan sticks the letter in an envelope and after 3 days he finally sends it.

Blair doesn’t answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! There is one final chapter left + the epilogue I'm excitedddd
> 
> See you soon :)


	10. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan tries to get over himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi welcome back! 
> 
> This is the final chapter and I hope you'll enjoy it :)))  
> Thank you to everyone who commented, gave kudos or just simply read my little text. It means a lot!

_Chapter 9_

**One month later.**

Dan is doing fine.

Or, well he is not fine but he is doing better.

After moping for two weeks or whatnot, he decided that he needs to get his life together. So he throws himself into work.

Starts writing.

Publishes a few articles.

And gets some kind of routine into his day.

He visits his dad, goes to an art exhibition with Lily and gets brunch every Saturday with Serena and Nate. Georgina ‘surprises’ him a few times in the morning and forces him to go on a run with her.

He tries not to think about Blair, about his feelings, that came back with full force with him having nowhere to hide. He tries to ignore the pang in his chest when he thinks about her not answering him. 

Dan understands. 

He isn’t sure if he would have replied, if he was in Blair’s shoes. But his emotions don’t work the way the logical side of his brain does so he allows himself to feel sad about it.

Blair and Chuck’s divorce was confirmed by both Blair and Chuck’s lawyers.

It doesn’t seem like there was a lot of anger behind it though. They’ll both have custody, is what Serena whispered to him, when they had brunch once. There wasn’t a big fight.

Their marriage just kind of … imploded.

Which is really not the way Dan imagined their marriage would ever end, given the way their relationship started.

He’s just glad that Blair won’t get hurt too much. And that Henry won’t have to struggle with choosing between his parents.

Dan knows that that is no fun.

*

He’s on a call with Georgina when there is a knock on his door.

“Wait, Georgina, I gotta go, I think my pizza arrived.”

“Dan, if you won’t respond to my mails again I will hunt you down and – “

“Yeah, yeah.”, he says and opens his door. And almost drops his phone.

It’s Blair.

He can hear Georgina yelling at the end of the other line but just presses the red button as he stares at the woman in front of him.

“I- “

“Can I come in?”, she asks.

He nods and steps aside.

She walks inside, her arms crossed.

“Do you want something to drink?”, he asks warily.

Blair nods. “Not your coffee though. I still haven’t recovered from how awful it was the last time.”

Dan snorts.

“Water? Or tea?”

“Do you have peppermint tea?”

Dan nods and gets going.

“Sit, wherever you like.”

Blair just hums, as she takes off her coat.

She looks relaxed, but Dan can see that her hand is slightly shaking.

He sets the cup of tea in front of her and she grips it tight.

Dan stares at his coffee for a few moments, before he looks up and asks: “Why are you here?”

Blair laughs and shrugs.

“I don’t know.”, she whispers. “I just got back from a meeting with my lawyer and I couldn’t breathe in my car so I told them to just let me out, that I wanted to take a walk. And then I just ended up here.”

“You walked to Brooklyn from the Upper East Side.”

Blair rolls her eyes. “Of course not, Dan. I’m wearing stilettos.”, she stares at her tea for a moment. “The meeting was in Brooklyn already. Nobody expects me to be here, so I'm not being harrassed by papparazi while trying to sort out my divorce.”

Dan nods.

“And now you’re here.”

“And now I’m here.”, she nods.

Another moment of silence.

Dan hates this. This is more awkward than anything else he ever experienced. (And that includes having an affair with Georgina and everyone else finding out about it.)

“I wanted to call you.”, Blair says suddenly. “After I got your letter.”

“Oh.”

“But I couldn’t. Everything was so hectic and I was already overwhelmed. In the few quieter moments, I just couldn’t…deal. With everything about this.”

“I understand.”

“I should have called though. Because I wasn’t angry with you Dan. At least not terribly.”

“No?”

“No.”, she takes a sip of her tea. “This is better than I imagined.”, she says.

“But why weren’t you?”, Dan sets his cup down, suddenly overwhelmed. “I basically told you, that you were the most important thing in the middle of a fight about your husband. You had every right to be furious.”

Blair nods.

Why is she so calm? Or at least better at faking to be calm.

“Well. I was furious that day. And then things just sort of clicked, you know? And I realised a few things.”, she looks at him. “Which I would’ve realised anyway but maybe not that fast.”

“What things?”

“That my marriage wasn’t what I expected it to be. That we didn’t work as a family.”, she doesn’t look at him. “That Chuck wasn’t the only one I had feelings for. Have feelings for.”

Dan needs to lie down.

“Blair.”

She shakes her head and then looks at him strangely.

“Don’t say anything, that you’ll regret.”, he warns and feels like he is in some sort of romantic drama.

“Dan. I always know what I’m saying.”, she stands up. “And I know what I’m doing.”

Why is she standing up?

Dan gets distracted by the way the sunlight hits Blair’s brown curls.

He jumps, when she touches his hand.

“Dan.”

“Yeah?”, he stares into her eyes, trying to find a way to read her.

“Would you like to go to the movies?”, she asks and smiles, as she now fully grabs his hand and links their fingers.

Dan hopes she doesn’t notice that he immediately has Goosebumps.

Her hand is cool and light in his. Their hands fit perfectly.

“That depends.”, he drawls and holds Blair’s hand tighter as she frowns. “Can we wait a few more minutes until my pizza arrives?”

“If it’s there in less than an hour I suppose we can.”

*

They get back late to his apartment.

Blair hasn’t said much, just kept holding his hand when they went outside, sat in the cinema and walked back. 

Dan opens the door and they walk inside.

He grabs the leftover pizza and settles on the couch.

She sits next to him and suddenly starts talking.

About her confusion, when Dan left after his declaration. About her anger that he just threw it all in her face and left her alone to deal with it. That she couldn’t look Henry in the eyes when he came back. That she couldn’t talk to Chuck when he first came back.

“We had a huge fight after a few days because I just couldn’t deal, and he didn’t understand.”, Blair’s head is on his shoulder, and he has an arm around her.

It’s nice. Warm. Comfortable.

“And then I just kind of exploded into his face, telling him that he is never home. That I didn’t expect us to be the way we were. That I wasn’t sure that this is the way we’re supposed to be.”, she whispers. “Thank god, Henry was with my mom. I would’ve never forgiven myself if he witnessed that.”

Dan just hums.

“And then Chuck got so quiet and I started crying. We sat down and we talked. And we realised that we just weren’t happy. Chuck knew that he had positioned his business over me, over his family. And that he was happier that way.”, she plays with Dan’s fingers. “He’s still a good father to Henry. He adores him and Henry adores him right back. I won’t take that from him. But we decided to split. A week after we talked.”

She grabs Dan’s hand tight.

“I would’ve realised eventually that Chuck and I weren’t what we were supposed to be so don’t go around thinking you’re the only reason it happened.”, she says, stern. “You are maybe the reason it happened so soon. That’s it.”

“I know.”, Dan stares at their linked hands.

He feels so young again.

“Don’t ever think that I’d doubt how capable you are, Blair.”

She suddenly sits up and stares at him.

Her face is so close. Dan will deny it later but he gets lost in her eyes, as she draws her hand through his hair.

“You need a haircut.”, she simply says before she leans down and presses her lips to his.

The warmth of her lips spreads through his whole body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooo Dan & Blair finally have had a little romance and this is the end of this i'm feeling a bit emo about it ngl :)))
> 
> I'll post the epilogue on the weekend, but dont expect TOO much it's just a little something to give a bigger insight in the future since Blair & Dan did no discuss any relationship whatsoever in this

**Author's Note:**

> I know this was relatively short,but I will update asap.  
> The whole thing is already written and I just need to edit it, so I will update regularly (at least twice a week I think)  
> Also this is the first time I've ever published anything, I'm grateful for everyone that (hopefully) enjoys it!   
> English is not my first language so there might be some slight mistakes that I didn't see.  
>  **thank you for reading, it means a lot!! ******


End file.
